Homecoming

Hello! It has been quite a while since my last post. I'm writing now from the comforts (oh so comfortable!) of my living room back in California, after wandering in India for 2.5 months. As my journey started taking on an intensely personal nature, I ended up naturally stopping most of my journaling and blogging. I just checked and noticed it's been about two months since my last post. How time flies.

So now I'm back, with new eyes. So much has changed while I was gone, both within (me) and without (family, friends, environment...). There's a giant new Safeway right near my house now. I think it's trying to emulate Whole Foods. Even my favorite used bookstore in downtown Mountain View has a new trade-in system. Golly! I came in with four boxes of books, thought I was an old hand at this business, and was faced with an entirely new checkout system.

It was hard to write this post, even. I've had it partially-completed for days now, refusing to commit(!), to clicking that "publish post" button. To announce that I'm back, with nothing "tangible" to show for it. I'd rather keep the doubts and thoughts to myself for now, thank you very much. Having been resume-driven for the past few years, it is hard to admit that I spent months doing something not resume-friendly at all - perhaps, gasp, detrimental to that life-defining record!!! Yet the noncognitive skills I gained and appreciated while I was on the road are certainly not things I could have picked up had I remained in school. I feel like I have gained much wealth, though it is perhaps not readily measured and visible. It's not like a high score on the MCAT or a fat bonus from work - nothing that can be measured, nothing that affords bragging rights. I came home with half-a-dozen books on my back (always reading, that never changes), a few faded Alibaba harem pants, and a few Ganesh/Om t-shirts, with the Ganesh and Om basically washed off. A paltry haul, one might say.

But as I washed the dishes today and ruminated, my favorite dish-washing side activity, a phrase suddenly popped in my mind. "Those who matter don't care; those who care don't matter." I feel like I'm in busyness withdrawal right now. I'm so used to identifying myself with what I do that being "idle" for a few hours, let alone a few days, is practically unbearable. Never mind that I have a 17-hour time difference, and thus ridiculous jetlag, to get over. It is hard to cut myself some slack - that is not something I ever do! Or did. And perhaps that has been my biggest mistake during the overachieving years of my life.

I was listening to some podcasts from my alma mater today, free classroom lectures that are available for lifelong learners all over the world. One story of the Buddha's that has been found throughout the ages, all over the world: if you play a stringed instrument, one must neither have the strings too loose or too tight - otherwise you can't play, or you'd sound God-awful! This story is, again, found all over the world, with the one difference in what instrument is used in the story. In India, one speaks of the sitar, while in Western civilization, perhaps the violin or guitar. In China, the erhu. The widespread existence of this story points to the way human life is best lived - neither with too much "slack" or too uptightly. To live in the balance point between these two extremes is to master the true art of living. Easier said than done.

From India

Hello from Bodhgaya! I arrived here about two days ago, via Kolkata. I landed in Kolkata on the evening of Wednesday, February 9, and the first thing I noted is that I will remind myself next time to arrive in India during daylight hours! The prepaid taxi service stand was closed, apparently (or at least nobody was manning it!). I strode out of the international terminal (which wasn't very large at all! Rather makeshift, actually) and was immediately accosted by numerous taxi drivers. Someone tried to convince me to take a 890-rupee ride to the Kolkata backpacker ghetto. Luckily I didn't fall for that. Nevertheless I was already reeling from 42 hours of travel, so I found a relatively more decent deal and went with it. The next day, I visited my first backpacker cafe and had the most typical India backpacker food - banana pancake! Then headed to Kolkata's Kali Temple and was immediately latched onto by some temple priests who proceeded to take me through the rites and then demand an exorbitant amount of money. I didn't give them as much as they wanted, but it was difficult being alone and surrounded by the priests. Ugh. I then squeezed into the most crowded Metro ride EVER (I didn't need to balance at all, people were pressed up against me from every side) to Victoria Memorial. The memorial is for Queen Victoria, and built in a very British Raj style. The lawns and gardens were all manicured and well taken care of, unlike right outside the memorial's limits... I felt like I was being swindled left and right there in Kolkata. The foreigners I saw all had a hardened look (probably all weary of being swindled and not knowing who to trust), and I didn't end up approaching anybody. On a more light-hearted note, I had my first Indian McDonald's experience in Kolkata though. I went to walk along Park Street, supposedly the most "cosmopolitan"street of Kolkata and came across a McDonald's! I tried the McAloo Tikki burger, which was a veggie burger with a very Indian spicy taste to it!

Anyways, I only spent one full day in Kolkata. The next day, I took a plane from Kolkata to Gaya. It was the most empty plane ride EVER (lots of EVERs for me this trip so far). I can't see how it is profitable for Air India to fly a near-empty jet, but at least it made things easier for my jetlagged and somewhat-frazzled self. Along the way, I noticed a band of Chinese Malaysian tourists and we started talking! I was so glad to run into them. One man had been coming twice a year to India for the past 20+ years for Buddhist pilgrimages. He gave me useful advice about Bodhgaya and when we arrived at Gaya Airport, where the taxi drivers again tried to charge me an exorbitant rate to Bodhgaya, he let me tag along with his group in their hotel shuttle! I can't express how grateful I was to run into a friendly group of people.

After dropping off my things at a guest house in Bodhgaya, I headed straight to the Mahabodhi Temple, which marks the site of Siddhartha Gautama's enlightenment. There's a huge prayer meeting at the temple this week for Tibetan Buddhist monks, and it was amazing to be a part of a vast sea of monks headed into the temple and then sitting under the Bodhi Tree. My first night staying in Bodhgaya was extremely rough though. I was staying in a very budget location with a mosquito-infested shared bathroom. Bodhgaya is also unsafe after dark for solo female travelers, so I ended up eating dinner at 5pm (Tibetan momos!) and going to sleep not too late after that. Tried to sleep, that is. My room was so noisy and mosquito-infested that I hardly slept at all. I woke up early in the morning, packed my things, checked out, and headed for the Chinese Monastery (the Malaysian tourist the day before had suggested it to me, but when I arrived there wasn't any room for me yet). Since I was walking outside so early in the morning, men on motorcycles and on foot kept following me, and by the time I arrived at the monastery I was harassed to the point of tears. Fortunately there was room for me at the monastery, and I got to move in...

I realized at every point when I felt like I couldn't take it any longer, something would happen that would brighten up my view of the world again. Not long after I checked in, a few other Mandarin-speaking girls close to my age also showed up at the monastery. I ended up getting to hang out with them, sharing their room, and am heading to Varanasi with them tonight! Again, can't express how grateful I am. I realized how different it is to be completely on my own, traveling. In some ways it is freeing, but in some ways it is more dangerous for sure. I'd hardly been in India a few days and I've been yelled at by a vindictive Internet cafe owner (there were no other foreigners/customers present at the moment) and surrounded by a band of young men as I exited the ATM booth.

I spent the morning reading a small Buddhist tract I'd purchased at the Mahabodhi Temple. It seemed like what Buddha's saying suddenly clicked for me. I'd started to gravitate towards Buddhism and Eastern philosophy in general in recent years, but always had a "soft spot" for Buddha in particular. I felt like I could relate the most to what he teaches, and to his life. I'd always been longing for a way to that "peace that passeth all understanding" spoken of in the Christian Bible, ever since I'd read that phrase. I felt like it was in reading Buddha's words, his message, and seeing his life, that this end of sorrow and end of suffering finally seems possible to me.

Onwards to Varanasi...

...and I'm off!

AHHHHHHHHH!!!
AHHHHHHHHH!!!
AHHHHHHHHH!!!

I'm off to see the world TOMORROW! I can't believe it's only been nearly two weeks since I got back from Los Angeles already. It feels like it's been a long time, and yet not. I'm glad I'm on my way again though. This waiting around is starting to drive me nuts. At least I'll have the 42-hour travel plan to Kolkata to settle my nerves.

Backpack is basically all packed. I wish it were lighter, but there's only so much I can forego bringing. I've already gone through a few rounds of cutting down unnecessary items. There's only so much I can go without, I suppose.

Who would have thought my current occupation would become that of a professional wanderer?